Might Have Been

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She woke with such foreboding, she was sure the dream would become real. Eventually it did. Fifteen years later, just as it was in the dream, her husband left her standing on the curb of a street as he was driven away. The car pulled away, exactly as it had in the dream. The street on which she was left, unrecognizable at the time of the premonition, was the street in front of their New York apartment where — two floors above — their son was watching from the window.

It was starkly final.

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Her husband had left her. Isabel denied it, but their twelve-year-old son knew. He saw it from the window in his room. Isabel witnessed exactly what her son had, but her entire being rejected the fact of it. Weeks passed. By then, Isabel no longer consisted of three equal parts. Immeasurable despair had reduced her to only one — a disabled heart. Not satisfied with consuming her by grief from within, her unmoored heart became dead matter pressing down on her chest from the outside. Whatever was left of Isabel was struggling to escape from beneath its crushing weight.

Forced to choose between what she felt and what she knew, Isabel decided her ability to reason was her sole source of rescue.

What Might Have Been

In the only way she understood to find her bearings, Isabel reconstructed their relationship in sequence, from background to foreground: She met James. She loved James. She married James.

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They had a child together. They made a life together.

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What had happened next? What went so abruptly wrong that she would try to kill him? Not infidelity. They were then, as they had always been, the most intimate lovers.

'may' and 'might'

She loved him unquestionably at the time she tried killing him. No one part of her seemed responsible. Isabel was sure that if she could accurately remember what happened in that murderous moment, it would explain what preceded and followed. Her brain — utterly dependable until now — offered Isabel nothing. There was no delineated shape of what had happened.

92 Might-have-been Synonyms - Other Words for Might-have-been

There was no vivid color to her memory. Isabel had seen what she had seen at the time it happened — she was sure of that. Pictures had been snapped, but for some unknown reason her brain refused to develop them. After great effort, Isabel brought forth one clear image.

She started with his expression of disbelief and worked backward to remember the rest. Tracking the glamorous couple in Manhattan, the Amazon, L. Astrid is soon forced to reveal her connection to Julius, but only once she is sure that he has left the hotel. The colour palette here is more saturated — memories play out in an idealised sun-kissed summer.

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Eventually, a Cold War-style tale unfolds, of defection from the East which leaves the young lovers on different sides of the border. But even this feels flatly anticlimactic. The new entity is being created in partnership with Riccardo Russo in the role of CEO and managing director. Screen International is the essential resource for the international film industry.


How Things Might Have Been: Individuals, Kinds, and Essential Properties

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